I’ll bet that’s a name you haven’t heard since like, 2008… and for good reason.
That’s (unfortunately) right: Eminem is back, and we only care because he’s a celebrity who doesn’t like the president – and we all know that celebrities who don’t like the president absolutely dominate the left in their culture war, and therefore are absolutely cherished by the mainstream media. This “war” has been exacerbated beyond our wildest expectations by the rise and election of Donald Trump – the left has gone totally nuts trying to smear the guy.
And that’s the basis of Eminem’s anti-Trump freestyle rap that has made the rounds as of late. So here’s the video and the lyrics – I’m going to try my best to rebut to them as they’re listed here:
“It’s the calm before the storm right here
Wait, how was I gonna start this off?
I forgot… oh, yeah
That’s an awfully hot coffee pot
Should I drop it on Donald Trump? Probably not
But that’s all I got ’til I come up with a solid plot
Got a plan and now I gotta hatch it
Like a damn Apache with a tomahawk
I’m not sure if we’re starting this off with the prescription drugs doing the talking, or if this is Eminem’s legitimate attempt to make empty assassination threats against Trump – like about a thousand other celebrities have used their status to do.
I’m assuming a little bit of both.
As a side note, I love the video’s parking garage setting, set up to make Eminem look all “tough” and “hard” and whatnot. And we know that nothing says “hard” quite like a place where parking valets hang out in sweater vests all day. Let’s carry on:
Imma walk inside a mosque on Ramadan
Obligatory “Trump hates Muslims” reference right off the bat. It’s surprisingly less painful than I expected it to be.
As it’s been said a million times, Trump has never passed a travel ban for Muslims – he has passed a ban for a select few majority-Muslim countries that are hotbeds for terrorism, yes – but it’s insane and completely, shamelessly dishonest to insinuate that his ban is an insult to all Muslims. That’s just identity politics at its finest.
And say a prayer that every time Melania talks
She gets a mou… Ahh, Imma stop
But we better give Obama props
‘Cause what we got in office now’s a kamikaze
That’ll probably cause a nuclear holocaust
And while the drama pops
And he waits for sh*t to quiet down, he’ll just gas his plane up and fly around ’til the bombing stops
Of course, we need to add in the notion of Trump being an unstable individual. As you can see, this is essentially a “freestyle” rap verse founded on these tired talking points that we’ve been hearing since the Republican primaries. If you want to make a case for yourself or for your ideology, it’s best to base them on something, as opposed to screaming racism, sexism, or any other buzzword and hoping people care. Stupid claims like this will help push Trump in the direction of victory in 2020 – so please, do us all a favor and keep up the good work, Eminem.
Intensities heightened, tensions are risin’
Trump, when it comes to giving a sh*t, you’re stingy as I am
Except when it comes to having the balls to go against me, you hide ’em
‘Cause you don’t got the f*cking nuts like an empty asylum
Racism’s the only thing he’s fantastic for
‘Cause that’s how he gets his f*cking rocks off and he’s orange
Yeah, sick tan
As we can see here, the best way to combat discrimination against people for the color of their skin is to make fun of a guy for the color of his skin. You’re a true intellectual, Marshall.
That’s why he wants us to disband
‘Cause he cannot withstand
The fact we’re not afraid of Trump
F*ck walkin’ on egg shells, I came to stomp
That’s why he keeps screamin’ ‘Drain the swamp’
‘Cause he’s in quicksand
It’s like we take a step forwards, then backwards
Well, I can’t argue that. In fact, Em hit the nail on the head with this one. Hollywood elites like him are indeed part of “the swamp” Trump references (see Weinstein, Harvey for reference as to why).
But this is his form of distraction
Plus, he gets an enormous reaction
When he attacks the NFL so we focus on that
Instead of talking Puerto Rico or gun reform for Nevada
All these horrible tragedies and he’s bored and would rather
Cause a Twitter storm with the Packers
We can talk about the situation with the NFL to your heart’s content. After all, it’s partisan, anti-Trump leftism that exacerbated it.
But if Eminem wants to talk about Puerto Rico, he can – thousands of parcels of aid were shipped there after Hurricane Maria. Their delivery to civilians was delayed by (surprise) Democrat leadership.
And if he wants to talk about curbing violent crime in America, reforming the Second Amendment shouldn’t even be on his mind. Generally speaking, gun control and gun free zones make people less safe – just look at how peaceful Chicago is, with two thousand-plus people getting shot there per year. Britain’s violent crime and hot burglary rates are similarly indicative that the Second Amendment is for the better.
Then says he wants to lower our taxes
Then who’s gonna pay for his extravagant trips
Back and forth with his fam to his golf resorts and his mansions?
Same sh*t that he tormented Hillary for and he slandered
Then does it more
Trips that he openly held meetings over policy on – business trips, essentially. Compare that to Obama’s hundreds upon hundreds of golf outings that cost taxpayers around a hundred million dollars… except that doesn’t quite suit our narrative as well. So carry on.
From his endorsement of Bannon
Support for the Klansmen
Tiki torches in hand for the soldier that’s black
And comes home from Iraq
And is still told to go back to Africa
Fork and a dagger in this racist 94-year-old grandpa
Who keeps ignoring our past historical, deplorable factors
FINALLY, we get to the part where Em throws around the ever-popular “racist alt-righter who’s endorsed by the Klan” lie. First off, the Klan may back Trump, but he does not back them. He left the Reform Party in 2001 after David Duke joined it. He condemned violence on all sides after the Charlottesville riots – but the left wasn’t having any of it.
And to tell Trump or anyone else alive today that they’re responsible for “our past historical, deplorable factors” is stupid. I’m assuming you’re talking about Democrat policies like slavery and Jim Crow that were implemented by our long-since deceased ancestors. Pretty much everyone today believes past treatment of African-Americans to be horrible and disgusting.
To put this stupidity into perspective, I’m a German-American and two of my great-grandfathers fought for the axis power in World War II. Using Eminem’s logic, am I now rendered responsible for the atrocities of the time committed by the Nazis?
Besides, times were different then. Many supporters of slavery hated the practice but partook in it anyway for the sake of economic stability. Many Confederate supporters fought on the side of states’ rights and legitimately believed the federal government to be overstepping its power in siding with abolitionists. That obviously wasn’t true nor warranted, but to say America’s history with African-Americans was entirely based on racism is asinine.
Now if you’re a black athlete, you’re a spoiled little brat for
Tryina use your platform or your stature
To try to give those a voice who don’t have one
To save time, I’m not going into something I’ve covered a million times before. Read some of my past stuff for my take on this.
He says, ‘You’re spittin’ in the face of vets who fought for us, you bastards!’
Unless you’re a POW who’s tortured and battered
‘Cause to him you’re zeros
‘Cause he don’t like his war heroes captured
That’s not disrespecting the military
Now, I personally agree with Eminem that Trump’s comment on John McCain being a POW was completely uncalled for. But that’s Trump – he’s an unorthodox type of president who says stuff off-the-cuff. Regardless of whether you consider that to be a vice or a virtue, that’s one of the main reasons he was elected president.
Also, the only thing that renders John McCain as a “zero” in Trump’s eyes is that he’s an absolute joke in the eyes of Republicans, especially when it comes to voting on key aspects of the Trump agenda. McCain being a POW is completely irrelevant to the president’s dislike of him.
F*ck that! This is for Colin, ball up a fist!
And keep that sh*t balled like Donald the b*tch!
‘He’s gonna get rid of all immigrants!’
‘He’s gonna build that thang up taller than this!’
Well, if he does build it, I hope it’s rock solid with bricks
‘Cause like him in politics, I’m using all of his tricks
‘Cause I’m throwin’ that piece of sh*t against the wall ’til it sticks
That’s exactly how Trump operates, and you’re playing right into it. He does like to throw around insults and political attacks on people (throwing – *ahem*, feces – against the wall until they stick, so to speak) – which is normal. Granted, he may respond a little differently than most politicians, but that’s because – once again – he isn’t one.
Yes, he slings insults around until they stick and idiots like Eminem respond. The responses of whoever he targets inevitably make him look good, solely because of how the left falls for the same trap every time. There’s definitely a thought-out element of Trump’s persona that leftists fail to acknowledge the existence of, for the sake of calling him incompetent and stupid to suit their all-important narrative.
And any fan of mine who’s a supporter of his
I’m drawing in the sand a line: you’re either for or against
And if you can’t decide who you like more and you’re split
On who you should stand beside, I’ll do it for you with this:
The rest of America stand up
We love our military, and we love our country
But we f*cking hate Trump
And I’m pretty sure you lost yourself about half your fans with these last few lines, Eminem. Say what you want about us, but Trump supporters are experts at giving the cold shoulder to people like Eminem who use their cultural significance as a soapbox and release unwarranted garbage like this.
And that’s mainly because it happens so often, and will no doubt continue to. Perhaps it’s time for celebrities like Eminem, Jimmy Kimmel, and Colin Kaepernick to accept that nobody cares what they have to say about politics – they’re entertainers, not pundits.
And after hearing the nonsense they espouse, that’s probably for a good reason.